9/17/2018 2 Comments My Military LifeI always liked to think that I was completely unlike most military spouses. I knew exactly what I had signed up for and had no worries about it; this was my life before, why would marrying into it be any different? Wrong. I was very, very wrong. Pinky Promise by Joe Romine licensed under CC BY-NC-ND 2.0 Growing up, my father was, and still is, an officer in the Navy and works only in major military hospitals. Not once was he deployed and I liked most of the places we moved to, especially when we were overseas in Japan. I fell in love with the traveling I got to experience and was very happy and content. Life was easy; I was just a kid from Iowa seeing the world and meeting new people. Of course, I faced battles like most military brats and families. We missed funerals, holidays, birthdays, and nearly any major event that happened within our family. At one point, I hadn’t seen my extended family for nearly 6 years. Can you imagine completely forgetting who your aunt is and having her attack you with kisses the moment she sees you? Being married to a military service member comes with these same struggles, and then some. Don’t get me wrong, my husband and I are very happily married and are each other's best friends. We are great at communicating our thoughts and feelings and try our best to keep each other planted on our feet with our heads held high. It is, however, far different than what I experienced growing up. Here's how I dealt with my first deployment and the aftermath:
2. Communication Is Key Deployment isn’t easy for either spouse, so it’s important to stay grounded and be each other's support system. We had to learn how to communicate through text message when it was available, have short conversations over really delayed and staticy phones, and not speak at all for weeks and be okay with that. We had to take a step back and not unload all of our issues and anger onto each other because the last thing either of us should be doing is arguing or being upset in those few short moments we had to talk to each other. 3. Acceptance When he came home, my heart was whole again. We got to spend 2 months together and used that time to get married and get /a lot/ of paperwork done for the military. After those 2 months, the military sent him away again, luckily off and on for only 1 month at a time. It’s not easy getting your service member back and then having to give them up again so fast. But this is something that you need to accept and expect when marrying a military member. You really do need to prepare for the military to make major changes in your lives, whether you want them or not. The military spouse life isn’t easy, and it is just as hard for your service member. But if you love each other, talk to each other, and support each other, your relationship will be stronger than any kind. Take advantage of all the resources and help you can get. They really do help manage your stress and keep you focused on why you are putting yourself through some of the toughest moments of your life, whether it’s moving, deployment, separation, etc. Embrace resilience. Let the hard times form you and make you that much stronger; it’ll make the good times that much sweeter. I know wouldn’t trade this life for anything in the world. Similar Articles:
2 Comments
Stephanie
9/18/2018 10:48:57 am
So this blog post hits really close to home for me. I know first hand the difficulty associated in being a spouse of a deployed member of the service. Support is fundamental and absolutely necessary. Your blog was very spot on and I am glad to see there are other resources out there, as I was not aware when I was in this situation.
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Abby
9/18/2018 12:25:04 pm
I am happy I was able to make this relatable for you! When deployment first started for us, I thought I was going to be a very strong woman and make it through the entire thing easily. I was horribly mistaken. Military spouses and their families need to embrace their resources open to them and accept support. It is important to remember that one is never alone!
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